"Over the past couple of months, I have also observed of myself reoccurring thoughts and experiences of being forced to do things. Forced to work, forced to clean, forced to take care of my responsibilities and commitments, forced to do this, and forced to do that. In my mind, I have seen almost everything as being forced on me and within this, I have disregarded the fact that I made the decision to do the things that I do on my own as well as the moments that I actually do enjoy what I'm doing. I have not allowed myself to see this, though - instead I've placed blame and placed responsibility on something or someone outside of myself. I realize that I have been doing this for most of life which makes it pretty clear why it's automatic now." From Day 189: Changing My Starting Point In Process - Part 1
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed reoccurring thoughts of 'being forced to do things' to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create experiences of 'being forced to do things' for myself from me wanting to believe that my thoughts about 'being forced to do things' is real and true.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto my belief and idea that I am 'being forced to do something' despite that I'm not seeing that the idea and belief holds up in physical reality - no one outside of me is physically forcing me to work, clean, take care of my responsibilities and commitments or forcing me to walk my process.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that because I don't want to let go of the belief and idea that I'm 'being forced to do things' that I will actually create for myself the experience of 'being forced', force myself to do things, and then attempt to project this behavior onto something or someone in my external environment as to further solidify that my belief and ideas are are correct and that I am right.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately overlook how I actually enjoy doing what I am doing throughout my day - I enjoy myself while I am working, cleaning, and building a foundation of trust with myself within taking care of my responsibilities and walking my process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to self-sabotage myself within my process by not allowing myself to see how much I enjoy it - all because I wanted to hold onto to the desire to be right about myself having to be forced to do things.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate where and why - in my history - did I create this idea and belief of myself as being forced to do things. And further, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by the events in my past and my programming and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing how I have continued to allow my past to determine who I am now and my starting point within approaching physical commitments and process.
I forgive myself that I accepted 'being forced' into my physical fabric and I forgive myself that I have allowed this to be/become me well into a time when I actually did have a choice to change my programming.
I commit myself to no longer accept nor allow myself to believe 'being forced to do things' thoughts that come up by when and as the thoughts come up, I stop and breath. I do not go into the thought nor allow myself to look for reasons why the 'being forced to do things' thought is true or correct. Instead, I allow myself the opportunity to see the thought and self-forgive the memories and reactions that are coming up within me in relation to the thought.
I commit myself to seeing how my beliefs and ideas about me 'being forced' have limited me and self-sabotaged my process of growth and change throughout my history and from this seeing, I commit myself to no longer limit myself to being one that is 'being forced' and instead BEING A FORCE.
Force = Physical action or movement
I commit myself to living the word FORCE by being the physical action or movement within my process as well as my other commitments and responsibilities.
Over the past couple of months, I have also observed of myself reoccurring thoughts and experiences of being forced
to do things. Forced to work, forced to clean, forced to take care of
my responsibilities and commitments, forced to do this, and forced to do
that. In my mind, I have seen almost everything as being forced on me
and within this, I have disregarded the fact that I made the decision to
do the things that I do on my own as well as the moments that I
actually do enjoy what I'm doing. I have not allowed myself to see
this, though - instead I've placed blame and placed responsibility on
something or someone outside of myself. I realize that I have been
doing this for most of life which makes it pretty clear why it's
automatic now. - See more at:
http://self-commitment-of-carrie.blogspot.com/#sthash.WGxqysGt.dpuf
Over the past couple of months, I have also observed of myself reoccurring thoughts and experiences of being forced
to do things. Forced to work, forced to clean, forced to take care of
my responsibilities and commitments, forced to do this, and forced to do
that. In my mind, I have seen almost everything as being forced on me
and within this, I have disregarded the fact that I made the decision to
do the things that I do on my own as well as the moments that I
actually do enjoy what I'm doing. I have not allowed myself to see
this, though - instead I've placed blame and placed responsibility on
something or someone outside of myself. I realize that I have been
doing this for most of life which makes it pretty clear why it's
automatic now. - See more at:
http://self-commitment-of-carrie.blogspot.com/#sthash.WGxqysGt.dpuf
Over the past couple of months, I have also observed of myself reoccurring thoughts and experiences of being forced
to do things. Forced to work, forced to clean, forced to take care of
my responsibilities and commitments, forced to do this, and forced to do
that. In my mind, I have seen almost everything as being forced on me
and within this, I have disregarded the fact that I made the decision to
do the things that I do on my own as well as the moments that I
actually do enjoy what I'm doing. I have not allowed myself to see
this, though - instead I've placed blame and placed responsibility on
something or someone outside of myself. I realize that I have been
doing this for most of life which makes it pretty clear why it's
automatic now. - See more at:
http://self-commitment-of-carrie.blogspot.com/#sthash.WGxqysGt.dpuf
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