Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Day 76: I Have Everything - Part 6

In this blog I am writing out, self-forgiving, self-correcting, and making self-commitments to change for the Physical Dimension of the point, "I Have Everything".  For previous work within this point, see:

Day 70: I Have Everything - Fears
Day 72: I Have Everything - Part 2 - Thoughts
Day 73: I Have Everything - Part 3 - Imagination
Day 74: I Have Everything - Part 4 - Backchat
Day 75: I Have Everything - Part 5 - Reactions

Physical Dimension

In my previous blog, I wrote as a Negative Reaction the following:
Rushing around my home from one task to another with no clear direction - within this, sighing, rubbing my face, expressing myself as 'run-down', overwhelmed and 'running out of time'

In addition to this, I will express myself Neutrally, like in a Zombie State where I wander from one task to another with either a blank face or a slightly smiling face with my eyes turned downward or away from others.  Within this expression, I tell myself that I am 'happily and contentedly puttering around' and that 'it makes me happy to take care of my family by taking care of their stuff or making them stuff as it makes their life easy and worry free.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to express myself as/within a Neutral Zombie State while taking care of everything that I have within my home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to either make my face look 'blank' or 'slightly smiling' as I communicate to myself and others within my environment that I am 'happy and content' to be serving what is is that I perceive as being 'their needs'. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that it 'makes me happy and content to take care of my family and our stuff because it allows my family time to rest, relax, and not have to worry'.  

I forgive myself that I have not accepted nor allowed myself the see, realize, nor understand that within this physical expression of myself that I am being dishonest with myself about what I 'like' to do and/or what gives me enjoyment because instead of expressing myself as I would if I truly enjoy something, I am telling myself that I have to move/act/hold my body in certain ways in an attempt to fool myself and others that I am enjoying what I am doing.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am communicating to myself about what I want for myself within and as this physical expression of myself as: I want someone to take care of me and my stuff and I want someone to enjoy doing it.  Essentially, what I clearly want is to be able to abdicate the responsibility of myself, my stuff, and my messes - I want someone else to take the burden and be a character that consistently, day-after-day does not change within their desire to take care of stuff for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others for not wanting to take of their things/their stuff/their problems/their world/themselves/others - instead of being equal-to this point, I have separated myself from this point and projecting it onto others in my world - in one way or another - where I would actually create a scenario within my environment and world where it is acceptable and allowable.

When and as I see myself acting out the I'm A Happy-Housewife-Zombie, I stop.  I breath.  I do not allow myself to go into mind, get fuzzy, and become among the 'living dead' as I see, realize, and understand that I am acting out a character that I have seen of the Happy Housewife That Takes Care of Stuff and Her Family - and this is not me - who I am is who I am within breath.

I commit myself to no longer physically become the Happy-Housewife-Zombie by stopping, breathing, and expressing myself as who I am within each moment of breath. 

I commit myself to no longer go into this Zombie-state so that I can pretend to not hear my thoughts and back-chat and instead, investigate and self-forgive my thoughts and back-chat when and as I am 'taking care of others' and/or 'take care of everything that I have'.

I commit myself to further investigate when/why/what/who I am changing for when I change my physical expressions of myself so that I can become equal-to these expressions and thus decide for myself what is necessary to keep and/or throw away - and as I sort through my everything that I have in my home, I sort through everything that I have in myself.


 

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